The Puter Servo Potion
by warmfuzzyfeeling
Summary: AU ignore anything after OOTP, during Howarts, m/m HPDM. Harry is sat in his NEWTs potion class when his sectrets come into the fore ground.


Disclaimer: Not mine characters belong exclusively to JK Rowling and Warner bros i just like to manipulate them

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It was once again that Harry found himself in the swelteringly stuffy potions classroom, unfortunately for him this year the class was last on a Friday afternoon. He looked over at his best friends. Hermione was, as always, pawing over her textbook. Ron on the other hand was trying his best to get her attention, by any means possible. "Hermione if you read any closer to the page you're gunna' fall in." Ron's pitiful attempt landed him with a suspicious shaped bruise on his forehead. "Ow, Mione that hurt!" with a scathing look she muttered something about "eye-sight" and "an incomprehensible ignoramus". Harry sent a sympathetic smile in Ron's direction, it wasn't the first time that Ron had ended up on the receiving end of Hermione's fist. Malfoy sauntered over and leaned over Ron's shoulder. "Lover's tiff?" he sneered. At that moment the door to the dungeon room opened. Professor Snape stood in the doorway, his robes billowing around him. As he walked down the centre isle to the front of the classroom, cuffing Malfoy's ear on his way past and sneering nastily as Harry tried desperately to find his quill.

"Mr Malfoy would you kindly take your seat so that we may begin?"

"Yes Sir."

"Good. Now today you will be attempting to make the Puter Servo potion. This potion is designed to loosen the consumer's inhibitions, if done correctly. Who can tell me the ingredients needed?" Hermione's hand shot into the air at lightening speed. Harry wondered that had she ever managed to control a broom his spot as Gryffindor seeker might not have been long-lived. "Mr Potter?" Harry was broken out of his reverie. "Ah, so nice of you to join us O Saviour of the world" Snape mocked, "I asked you to answer my question, would that be ok with you?" Harry looked down at his note book. "From memory" his teacher barked. "I can't answer it" he mumbled to his desk.

"Well I suppose that I will just have to take an answer from a more intellectually gifted student." Harry heard a strained sound behind him and turned to find Hermione fit to burst with her hand flailing in the air. "Mr Malfoy care to divulge the ingredients list?" A small grin sneaked it's way onto Malfoy's face. "Yes Sir, crushed ashwinder eggs to make the drinker more confident in love, diced hellebore leaves to give the drinker peace of mind, ground jobberknoll feathers to ensure the drinker remembers and is truthful in their actions, dried mandrake root to restore strength to the drinker, three fresh peppermint leaves to make the drinker slightly, umm, tipsy you could say…" Snape interrupted the boy. "150 points to slytherin. Now before Miss Granger bursts tell me the final and most vital ingredient." Hermione began to flush uncomfortably, "Two drops of blood from a virgin, Sir." Immediately she looked down at her table. "As it is the last ingredient to be added only the best potion will be completed. You will be working in your usual partners. You may begin."

Harry groaned as he dragged his bag over to Malfoy's work station. "You go get the ingredients Potter," he spat. "After all it is the only thing you can accomplish without messing up, right?" Once Harry had returned Malfoy began to prepare the different ingredients while Harry set up the cauldron. They worked in silence only stopping to provide and insult or to add an ingredient. After 45 minutes Snape's voice rang out through the classroom. "Take your cauldrons off the heat. I shall now select the potion that is at the correct stage for the blood." After checking all of the potions he finally decided that Harry and Malfoy's potion was the best of a rotten batch.

"Now Mr Potter hold out your hand." Harry did as he was told as the whole class looked on in sympathy. Snape took out his wand and made a small incision on Harry's index finger and tapped it twice. The potion did not turn the desired blue colour. Snape rounded on Harry. "What is the meaning of this? Is the Golden Boy of Gryffindor slightly tarnished?" the slytherins sneered at their Head's jibe. Harry held his head high. "Actually Professor Snape I think you will find that I have not been a virgin for at least the last year." Silence echoed through the classroom only to be broken by the cries of Harry's friends and the mutterings of the slytherins. "Harry why didn't ya tell us mate" asked Seamus. "Yeah mate we've deliberately not talked about sex around you for years now" Ron added thoughtlessly. "Thanks mate I feel so much better now, was I not allowed to talk about sex if I wasn't getting any." Snape stopped the boys before it became a full out row.

"Now, now Mr Potter we can still rectify this potion even if it seems that you found someone dazzled by your stardom enough to over come your physical short comings. Now I need to add double the amount of blood to counteract that of the impure blood donated by Potter. I require a virgin any one?" No hands went up into the air. "If I do not get a willing participant of virgin status in the next three seconds I will put you all in to detention with Filtch." Blushing a bright red that clashed horribly with his hair Ron stepped forwards. Harry starred in surprise. "Ron you just said that you excluded me because you thought I was a virgin." Ron's blush became more furious. "Yeah well, I lied about loosing my virginity 'cause everyone bar you had, I didn't want to be left out." Snape looked down at the mortified boy. "

Pathetic Mr Weasley, your hand." Ron hesitated, "Give me your hand boy!" Once the blood had been added and the required colour was achieved Snape selected Harry to test the potion. Harry took the phial and downed it. He winced as the cold slimy substance flowed down his throat. "Now then Mr Potter. As you are not as pure as we all had thought who took your most prised virginity?" Harry giggled and answered quickly. "My boyfriend Draconis Lucius Malfoy, who else? Love you angel." He waved at his newly out-ed boyfriend. "Are we meeting in our room later?" The whole class turned to see Malfoy as he slid from view under the work table. There was a loud sound of a head hitting the floor as Ron fainted, later her would deny the fact and blame it on the blood loss to any who cared to listen. "Harry we wanted to keep this a secret damn you." Malfoy's voice floated up from his hiding place. Harry decided to join him. "I'm sorry snuggle puss it's the damn potion." He then soundly kissed the boy much to the horror of the onlookers. They were accompanied by the sound of Professor Snape joining Ron on the floor.

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Thank you for reading I am sorry for any miss spelt words or bad grammar (I'm dyslexic) Pease Review I really would like to know what you think of my writing.

Warmfuzzyfeeling x


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